


Cognitive Dissonance

by narumimakoto



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M, patient shizuo, really cute ok but itll probably get all sad and angsty at some point, therapist izaya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 11:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6327472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narumimakoto/pseuds/narumimakoto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>cog·ni·tive dis·so·nance<br/>noun PSYCHOLOGY<br/>the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.</p>
<p>bro·ken<br/>ˈbrōkən<br/>adjective<br/>1.<br/>having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order.<br/>2.<br/>(of a person) having given up all hope; despairing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

He loved people. He loved their behavior and the way people were all so different. He loved hearing what made people sad and what brought them joy, what made them angry and what made them get all soft. And from the moment he laid eyes on him, he liked him. But, he liked everybody so it didn't seem like that big of a deal in his head. He just thought " _just another patient, just another human who needs help_."

* * *

"I'm not going." Shizuo protested the offer his brother, Kasuka made him. 

"I don't like seeing you self destruct mentally all the time. If I pay, would you go?" Kasuka asked in that monotone voice of his. 

They were sat in at Russia Sushi in a back area arguing about Shizuo going to a therapist/psychologist. Their food had long since been abandoned as they had spent almost the whole time speaking. 

"Fine." Shizuo groaned under his breath. "But _just_ once. And _just_ for you, okay?"

"Works for me. I already set up an appointment for you anyways." Kasuka pulled a small note card out of his pocket and set on the table in front of Shizuo. "I hope this helps." And with that final line, Kasuka left Russia Sushi, leaving Shizuo behind.

_What would I even talk about?_

Shizuo sighed, leaving behind his half eaten plate of sushi and heading outside to the streets.

The city was always more lively at night he thought. Maybe it was the way the street lights shining down on everything made them more alive. Or maybe it was the way that the world itself was asleep but the people were out. Everything was more lively, except for him. He typically would start to make his way home when the sky got dark or he would find a place to sit that was quieter than everywhere else. He didn't like to be around large groups of people out of fear that he might lose control of his temper and hurt someone.

But tonight was different. Tonight he felt calm, he wanted to go out. Maybe it was seeing his brother for the first time in a few months that eased his mood. Whatever it was, he felt like walking, watching the world and the strange people within this city.

On the other side of the city was another man, one totally dedicated to his job. A man who would give up his own sleep for days on end to research and find ways to help the people he interacted with. This man loved people and everything about them. He loved the way that people had this sparkle in their eye when they spoke about things that they loved or how their eyes got this cloud over them when they spoke of things that made them sad. He loved how their voices shook when they got all nervous or how they got loud when they got angry. He loved it all, but he couldn't find those qualities inside of him so he couldn't love himself.


	2. 16:30

Shizuo left his small apartment an hour before the set time of the appointment. He hated having to walk everywhere but he didn't own a car, or a driver's license. 

Everywhere he went, people would stare and ask the people next to them, " _ that's  _ **_that_ ** _ guy, right? _ " He could always feel the heat from their stares burning into his skin as they referred to him as  _ that guy _ ,  _ monste _ r, occasionally  _ Ikebukuro's hulk _ .   _ I have a name and it's not monster,  _ he thought _.  _

"Shizuo! Come get sushi again with brother real soon!" Simon called out to Shizuo as he passed by Russia Sushi. Shizuo just waved to him and kept on walking in the direction of his destination. He didn't know exactly where the building was located but he had a pretty good idea of the general area thanks to the address on the note card that Kasuka gave to him.  _ Just for Kasuka. You're just doing this for Kasuka. Just get in there, say as little as you can so they don't ask too much about you, and then leave and you won't have to go again. _

In the top floor of the building that Shizuo was heading to, was Izaya Orihara pacing the floor of his office as he patiently awaited the arrival of his next patient. Shizuo Heiwajima. He had heard the name before, rumors of his strength and his anger so he assumed that's why he was coming today. He moved to one of the floor to ceiling windows he had in the office, watching for the infamous blonde he had heard so much about.

"Orihara-san?" Namie asked over the intercom. "Your 16:30 appointment is here."

"Send him in." Izaya answered and within a minute the blonde he had heard so much about was strolling through the door.

Shizuo looked around the room, amazed at the size of the place. But the thing that caught his eye the most was how annoying the man in front of him looked. He had this smug look on his face and this glare in his eyes that Shizuo just couldn’t put words to but he didn’t like it. His coat looked like he pulled it out of a reject pile from a thrift shop.  _ He pisses me off. _

Izaya watched him walk over awkwardly and sit down on the sectional, black couch he had underneath the stairs.  _ He looks different up close, more approachable. Hard to believe this is the guy that supposedly throws entire vending machines and rips guard rails off of the sidewalk. People are always surprising me but I believe this man will be the one to shock me. _

“My name is Izaya Orihara.” Izaya sat down in his desk chair and watched Shizuo.

“Shizuo Heiwajima.” Shizuo replied.  _ His voice is so smug and arrogant. His facial expressions are even worse.  _

_ “ _ Why are you here today, Heiwajima-san?” Izaya asked, propping his left ankle on his right knee and interlacing his fingers.

“Because people piss me off.” Shizuo narrowed his eyes. “People like you.”

“I’m not that bad, Heiwajima-san. I do this job because I love humans.” Izaya answered and glared at Shizuo. “All humans. But enough about me. Your brother booked this for an hour and we have 54 minutes and 43 seconds left for me to learn as much as I can about you so I can learn how to help. Now, just start by telling me about the past few days.”

“Well, yesterday morning when I was leaving my apartment, I got coffee with Tom-san and some asshole ran into me, making me spill it on the clothes that Kasuka bought for me. So I pulled the vending machine out of the wall from behind us and threw it him. But Simon caught it and threw it back and I didn’t have time to set the rest of the coffee down so I spilled it even more which only pissed me off more. So, I ripped the guard rail off the sidewalk and tried to hit Simon but he dodged and that only pissed me off even more. And in the process of me trying to hit Simon again, I accidentally hit some guy in the shoulder and sent him flying across the park, only a few feet though. And hitting innocent people isn’t my shtick. So I went over to apologize and the guy was fine, some bruises maybe but that was really it.” Shizuo’s breathing got faster and heavier and he continued speaking this pace. “But the girl he was with pushed me away when I tried to help the guy up, calling me some kind of monster and I just,” He kicked over the glass table he was resting his foot on, sending it to the floor and the pieces of the top shattering and scattering across the cold floor. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll buy a new one.”

Izaya watched the man in front of him.  _ He truly will be the one to shock me, I can feel it. _

“I’ve been here fifteen minute and I’ve already broken something.” Shizuo mumbled to himself. “Maybe I am a monster.”

“I don’t think you’re a monster.” Izaya said from his seat across the room. “I believe you are as human as me and my secretary out there and any of the people I can see from my windows. And like I said, I love all humans. You are no exception and since I have been entrusted with the job of helping you, that is exactly what I’ll do.”

“You still piss me off.” Shizuo replied.  _ But maybe I could learn to tolerate him. _

_ - _

“So how did it go?” Kasuka asked Shizuo over the phone.

“I don’t see the point in this.” Shizuo replied.

“Just give it a chance. I can tell by your voice you were actually pleased with today.” Kasuka answered. “I have to go.” And then Kasuka hung up.  _ Things are going to get interesting, aren’t they? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short chapter i apologize but usually as i get further in to stories the ideas flow better so they will start to get longer and longer :)


End file.
